A lot of the embedded videos aren’t working, since it appears that youtube.com is down.

Nothing I can do about it.

The idea for the Bikini Artist Project originated in my personal experience. An acquaintance once told me that I painted so quickly, that I should have on of those Bob-Ross type shows. I jokingly responded that I would have to be wearing a bikini for anyone to be interested in that today.

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These folks use Google Maps to pinpoint all the identifiable locations featured on Seinfeld.

A strange little collection.

FunnyName dot com collects funny and bizarre names from the phone book.

I’m pretty sure Hugh G. Rection isn’t a real name, but it’s in the book.

Acted by bunnies

Women always spoil the moment.

But what happened to Marge’s hair?

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT??!! What was that?

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you…she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all, dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me,I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….

A friend of mine sent me this link to pictures of Mardi Gras in Iraq. Scrolling through the pictures I see that all the readable name tags are for real Cajun names, so it’s the real deal.

Throw me one of those camels, mister!

If you’ve enjoyed DontForward.com you can show your appreciation by buying me a beer, and it it won’t cost you anything.

See the little Firefox ad near the top of this page? Well, if you click that link, and install Firefox, they will send me a beer at no cost to you.

Well, actually they’ll send me a dollar, but that’s the cost of one beer at my favorite hangout.

So install the FREE software. I’m thirsty!

A Lenten report

This flick exposes the real reason for sexual harassment lawsuits.

These young drivers participate in what they call an act of civil disobedience, but it’s actually an act of civil obedience. They set out to prove that it’s the outlaws who keep this country moving. They prove it by obeying the law, and pissing everyone off.

For no particular reason…

Did you see this story? An autistic kid kicks ass on the court.

When I was a kid there was a diet product called “AYDS”. Then the disease came along, and the company went bust (after all, the other version was a more effective appetite suppressant).

The Smoking Gun has published a page of mug shots of good-looking suspects who have been charged with various crimes.

It was so popular, they published a second collection of them.

If all crooks looked like this, I’d leave my doors unlocked.

P.S. one of the girls is trying to sue The Smoking Gun, claiming that web surfers are masturbating to her picture. Don’t flatter yourself, chickie. There are better pictures on the web than yours.

You may have seen this silly Japanese device that plays records by driving a toy van around them.

Today I also found the site that sells them. Extravagant for the price, but a fun concept

I need to post these more often.

Today’s performance stars Samuel L. Jackson as Bob Ross…

Which brings us to our next feature…

I’m not sure what kind of clothes they sell, but I want them!

Here’s a cool collection of stop-motion animations.

I’m sorry I am just now finding this!

Pandora is an online radio station. It asks you what you like, and takes it from there. It’s extremely simple. All it asked me was the name of one band I like. I typed “Crosby Stills & Nash”, and hit enter. It started playing “Wasted on the Way”, then moved on to John Fogerty, because of the similarity of the music, and so on.

Couldn’t be simpler.

You’ve seen those sites where you can type in commands, and a girl will do stuff? Well, without a doubt this is the worst one ever.

Needs less cocaine.

A friend of mine sends me tidbits from the Page-A-Day calendar website. Today he sent this one from the Duct Tape Page-A-Day calendar:

If you have a letter that absolutely has to get somewhere today, duct tape it to the back of a bus going to the letter’s ultimate destination. Then call the recipient to tell them to meet the bus and peel off their letter.

Thanks Mark.